The Rookie Nine and Mary Jane
by ninjafest132
Summary: Sasuke gets some good stuff and shares it with his friends...yeah. This is really full of OOCness and crack... or pot... yeah pot.


**YO. THIS JUST CAME TO ME ONE NIGHT WHILST WATCHING TV. SO READ AND LAUGH AND REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… yet.**

**The Rookie Nine and Mary Jane.**

'_I'm soooo gonna get him!'_ Sasuke thought as he approached a tree Naruto was sitting under. This was the plan: he would jump out of the tree behind Naruto and scare him shitless. Simple, no? . Sasuke landed on the branch of his targeted tree a little hard and lost his balance. He fell down and landed face first in the ground next to Naruto. If Naruto had even attempted to hold in his laugh, his head would have surely exploded from the effort. Everyone in the village could hear it and thought two things. 1: Something was extremely funny, or 2: Someone was being tickled to death. This pissed them off because if it was something funny then they missed it, and if someone was being tickled to death they wished they would just die already.

After his laughing fit, which lasted a good two minutes, he noticed Sasuke still hadn't gotten up. However, when he did he looked at the imprint his face made in the ground. After another minute he began to laugh, nearly fainting when he refused to stop for oxygen. He gestured toward the hole and said, "now that is some funny shit." Naruto was so shocked he just stared. Something was off( ya think?). Then Sasuke stood up and looked at Naruto " I'm starving." He stood in thought for a moment. Then with the most excited look Naruto had ever seen, Sasuke said, " lets go get some chocolate Naruto-kun!" Needless to say he followed.

They settled under a tree with bags of various chocolate goods, including chocolate ramen. When they finished the sixth box of pocky Naruto asked, "Sasuke, are you ok?" Sasuke looked at him with a blank expression. He was about to answer but he found that his hands had put chocolate ramen in his mouth. He stood up suddenly and Naruto thought that he was going to walk away until he looked down at him. "It's good," said Sasuke. Naruto was of course confused. Then he saw something that looked like a cigarette in Sasuke's weapons pouch. He made a grab for it, but Sasuke took a step to the side and made him miss. "If you want some ask." Naruto, now even more confused(is that possible?), asked for it.

Sasuke handed him a small, white, cigarette. Naruto noticed that they didn't look like Asuma's. These appeared to be hand rolled and a light green leafy substance could be seen through the paper. "What do I do with it?" "You smoke it, duh." Sasuke stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sasuke found his lighter and lit it, inhaling the smoke with ease and passed it to Naruto. Naruto copied Sasuke, he felt a thick substance fill his lungs and burn his throat slightly, but it wasn't to unpleasant, so he let it be. When he felt like he couldn't hold it in any longer he blew out a cloud of dense smoke.

At first he felt fine, no change what so ever. Then Sasuke passed it back. After his second hit Naruto felt… giddy. Like everything was funny, and it was, but only to him. He laid back and looked at the clouds. Damn they looked good. So white and fluffy. How in the hell do they stay up there? All of this was going through his mind, and then nothing. Now he knew why Shikamaru love them so much.

"So how do you feel?"

"…"

"Naruto?"

"…"

Naruto-kun?"

"hn?"

"Hey that's my line!" Sasuke said, glaring at Naruto. Naruto sat up and looked at Sasuke, giggling. " Dude, your head looks like a bird." Sasuke just glared more. "Come on, you can't tell me that you haven't thought that at least once." Still no reply from the Uchiha. "Maybe I should tweet." Sasuke couldn't handle it. He broke down laughing his ass off, as did Naruto. Suddenly Naruto stopped and looked at Sasuke "you know who we should give this to?" Sasuke looked at him, and almost as if they could read minds they shouted in unison, "SAKURA!!!"

After smoking one…or two…or three more, they left for Sakura's quickly, or as quickly as one can while their stoned out of their mind. When they arrived they looked in her window. She was sitting on her bed reading a scroll. Naruto and Sasuke started whispering rather loudly. "Sakura… Sakura-chan….SAKURA-CHAN!!!" She fell off her bed at the last scream that rang through her window. She went over to look out her window and found Naruto and Sasuke rolling on the ground laughing. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!?!" she yelled at them, which got their attention. "Come out side Sakura-chan, I've got something for you!" Sakura nearly fell over again. Did Sasuke just call her Sakura-_chan?_

When she got outside she saw the boys sitting under a tree. ( WTF! Another tree!?). She eyed them cautiously. They both had shit eating grins, which was nothing new for Naruto. And they where unusually happy, again, nothing new for Naruto. "What are you two up to?" she asked, figuring it had something to do with Kakashi's mask. "Have we got something for you." Naruto practically sang. "It's the best!" Sasuke did sing. "Beats the rest!" Naruto followed. They went into a song about a phone and a banana before falling over laughing.

With all the laughing done Sakura looked on, still curious as to why they where so happy. Sasuke handed her a small cigarette. " Try it and live." Sasuke said with a dead serious tone. Once lit, she did what she was told. The effect was immediate. She wasn't exactly tired, but if someone asked her to move she didn't think she'd be able to. She looked at Sasuke with half-lidded eyes and the words came out before she could stop herself. "Sasuke, you look like a gay bird… He he, tweet."

Shikamaru was going to go cloud watching with Choji and Ino, but he needed to see Kakashi about a dog…yeah. Anyway, he walked past a house and heard laughter. He also smelled something. A smelly smell that smells… smelly(I couldn't help my self… gomen.). He was going to buy more, but if he knew who they where he'd just ask them if they wanted to join.

When he got closer he spotted Sakura's house. Then he saw the tree with three people under it. When he realized who they where, he was shocked. Sasuke, the genius, Naruto, the HKN(1), and Sakura… No she doesn't get a title, she's useless. He approached them and broke their laughter. "I never knew you guys were acquainted with Mary Jane." This statement made them look at each other, then Shikamaru, then back. They broke out laughing again.

Shikamaru invited them to come with him and they followed.

When they arrived at Shikamaru's roof top hide out Choji and Ino where already there. "Why in the hell is forehead girl here? And did you talk to Kakashi?" Don't pummel me with questions first thing in the morning you troublesome woman." Ino glared at him "It's two o'clock in the frickin' afternoon!" "Whatever." Ino turned her gaze on the three newcomers. She noticed that they all seemed happy, which was unnerving because they where known as "the emotional baggage team". "You can only join if you got ganja." She deadpanned. Naruto looked over joyed. "Is that a new game? I wanna play! I wanna play!" Ino just stared. They had it alright.

Now for those of you who don't have stoner friends, allow me to explain the rules of group smoking.

1) He who lights it hits first.

2) Always pass to the left.

3) **NEVER** break rotation.

And of course, no one but Sasuke broke a rule. He passed it to the right, which I guess breakes two rules. He was promptly denied his next hit.

Once everyone was stoned, the truth was revealed. Everyone called Sasuke a bird, and call Sakura a big headed bitch with anger issues. Ino was just a bitch… and a slut. Shikamaru was a lazy pot head, and Choji, who hasn't said anything because he went from smoking to eating seamlessly, was a fat hopeless slob…Damn people are mean.

Hinata was making her usual rounds, looking for Naruto so she could blush and run away. She was using her byakugan to find him. She noticed that he had a strange bit of red in his chakra network. Years of stalking really pay off. In her search for her crush she came across Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino(convenient, no?) who where training. After a bit of chatting they decided to tag along.

In the city she caught a glimpse of Naruto's chakra. She noted that he was on a roof where she usually sees Shikamaru, but figured that was just coincidence. She actually didn't like him very much. They walked up to the roof. At about half way Akamaru gave a weird yelp, not like he was in pain, but excited. Kiba tensed, he knew what that yelp meant, and he was wondering where they got it.

They walked up to the door and the scent made it's self known. Hinata knocked on the door, the blush already showing on her cheeks. They heard some crashing, a few swears, and some more crashing. The door was answered by a winded Ino, who looked like she just got out of bed. Hinata looked around the room and saw that the rest of her team and Naruto's team. "Ah, Hinata, how's it goin'?" Ino just kept looking at her with a blank stare. "W-w-well I was j-j-j-just wondering if you, umm… if you might know where na-na-Naruto-kun is." Hinata looked down and did that thing with her fingers that only she can do(it's so cute!! Glomps). "Oh, well he's in here if you wanna come in. where just chillin'." Kiba's ears picked "Yes!" he responded a little to excited for his own good.

Everyone was inside and talking, really chillin'. However, they where just a bit out of character. For instance, Sasuke was smiling like there was no tomorrow, and Sakura looked like she was half asleep. But what caught Hinata's attention was Naruto. He had gotten up and moved his chair closer to her, and was now staring at her intently. Just as she was about to go in to a shade of red that defied physics Naruto said something that almost made her go into a coma. " Hinata, you're hot."

**BANG!**

Hinata fell clean off her chair, out cold. Naruto kneeled down next to her and shook her awake. "You ok? You fell pretty hard." he asked her. She quickly blushed a bright red looking up at him "I'm fine Naruto-kun." He looked at her and felt wired, like time had stopped and they were alone.

Kiba went to Shikamaru and asked "Yo Shika, where's the stuff." "Ask Sasuke, he brought it." So kiba and Akamaru went to Sasuke and started asking questions. "So… You got the goods?" Sasuke just looked at him with a wtf look on his face. "I got lots of goods Kiba-kun. Which ones do you want" he said a little seductively. "Umm… I just want the pot." "oh… ok then."

Naruto heard the spark of a lighter and looked over to Sasuke. "Hey you gonna give me some, right Sasuke" he said turning away from Hinata. "But of course Naruto-kun." Hinata was curious as to what Naruto wanted, and why Sasuke was calling HER Naruto kun.

She saw Naruto take a small cigarette from him and smoke it. "Want some? This stuff is amazing." She took it from him and took a puff. She started to feel less shy and looked at Naruto. She looked at him, her eyes glazed over, and suddenly slapped him. "You are the most stupidest person ever. I cant believe that you haven't noticed that I like you. What the hell do I have to do, kiss you?" And with that she kissed him, full on the lips. They where left to make out.

Kiba was now stoned and listening to Sasuke talk. "…and then we got tons of chocolate!" Kiba just looked at him then "… Nigga shut up." Everyone just stopped and looked at him (except for Naruto and Hinata) with looks of shock.

The day wore on, and eventually Sasuke ran out of kush. So they parted ways, but Naruto insisted on walking Hinata home. On the way Sasuke ran into Kakashi. Sasuke could tell he was mad from the dark aura surrounding him. "Hey Kakashi-sensei, what's up." Kakashi just looked at him, the replied smartly "you." Damn.

1. Hyperactive knucklehead ninja.

**THAT'S IT!! I MIGHT MAKE ANOTHER, BUT IM NOT SURE. ANYWAYZ REVIEW AND I WILL BE A HAPPY NINJA… MAYBE. BUT ITS WHATEVER.**


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